Essential Information about the social

Hi, my name is Laurie and I am the founder of the Big Feelings ENM socials.

I am queer, polyamorous, neurodivergent, and I have complex trauma. This social exists because I wanted a space that could hold the complexity of my feelings about my ENM experience, and I hope it can provide you with the same.

Here’s what you should know about the values behind the space, and how it works:

What is this event and who is it for?

Big Feelings ENM is a social and a sharing circle for all ENM folx. This is a non-judgemental space created to foster vulnerability and build community in non-monogamy. 

Whether you practise open relationships, polyamory, or relationship anarchy; whether you’re having the time of your life, or struggling to make it work – this is a space where you can build a network of care.

The socials take place on Sunday afternoons from 2-5pm every six to twelve weeks at a private venue near Liverpool Street station in central London.

Our Ethos and Agreements:

  • Come as you are. All of your feelings about non-monogamy are welcome in this space, whether you’re having the time of your life, struggling to make it work, or somewhere in between.

  • This is an unapologetically inclusive event where we want to cultivate acceptance and vulnerability. We have a zero tolerance policy for any form of discrimination or harassment, including racism, homophobia, transphobia, sexism, ableism, fatphobia, sizeism, or ageism.

  • This is a confidential space. Your attendance, and anything shared in the space, is private.

  • We encourage you to connect with fellow attendees and build long-lasting connections, but no form of cruising, will be tolerated at our events. This is not a space to meet potential new partners.

  • Community is built out of mutual care. We want to encourage you to listen to others with care and attention, to validate their emotions, and to be gentle when discussing their experiences. Please treat all forms of vulnerability as sacred.

  • While love, relationships and non-monogamy often and inevitably intersect with other areas of our lives and well-being, please note that relationships and non-monogamy are the focus of the space and sharing circles. We can't facilitate in-depth discussions about other topics.

  • It’s okay to come to this space, and to be heard and witnessed by others, if your emotions feel raw or messy. However, if you are experiencing an acute mental health crisis, I want to encourage you to reach out to seek support with loved ones, as well as individuals and organisations that can provide specialised care.

  • You are very welcome to attend the socials with close connections, including partners and metamours. We would like to encourage you to split up into different groups for the sharing circles to make more space for your own emotions. I'll organise this as default for the space, but I can absolutely place you in the same group if you'd prefer. Let me know in the form while booking your tickets.

  • Your comfort and well-being is important. If you'd like to avoid being placed in the same sharing circle as someone you already know who is at the social, please let me know and I will plan accordingly, no questions asked.

  • Don’t hesitate to come up to me if you need support during the social, or reach out to me via DM or email if there’s anything you’d like to discuss in the aftermath. We have a first aider for the community who can also provide additional support. I love this community and I want you all to feel safe and supported, always.

How can I attend one of your socials?

In order to come to the socials, first you must go through a vetting process. 

I’m curating a small, intimate event where people can be vulnerable about their experience of ENM. I want to make sure everyone who attends understands what and who the space is for, so that we can all have the best, and safest, experience possible.

Apply for vetting here!

Frequently Asked Questions

    • 2-2:45pm: First, we have an informal social hour with a chance to chat and meet each other. 

      Our venue, the London Night Cafe, offers free, unlimited hot drinks including tea and pod coffees, with decaf options and DF milk, and a selection of complimentary biscuits including GF options. I always bring freshly baked vegan brownies.

      You are very welcome to bring your own drinks/food.

    • 2:45-4pm: Then we break out into small groups for sharing circles.

      Each person gets dedicated speaking time to share what’s going on with their experience of non-monogamy. There will be time to discuss what you’ve shared with the group if you’d like, whether you’d like to talk things through with others, or hear how other people relate to your experience. This is always optional and at your discretion.

    • 4-5pm: This is followed by a debrief with the wider group, and depending on timing, another chance to socialise before wrapping up at 5pm.

      PS: there’s often an unofficial trip to the pub down the street afterwards!

  • Our socials take place at the London Night Cafe, near Liverpool Street Station in London.

    The venue offers free, unlimited hot drinks including tea and pod coffees, with decaf options and DF milk, and a selection of complimentary biscuits including GF options. I always bring freshly baked vegan brownies.

    The venue is privately hired - we are the only people in the space for the social and it has gender neutral toilets.

    Accessibility info:

    • There are two floors in the venue: ground floor and basement.

    • There is a low step between the street and ground floor. 

    • The toilet is on the ground floor, but not specifically wheelchair accessible.

    • There are steep steps leading to the basement floor. Access to the basement is not required in order to attend the social in full.

    When you purchase your tickets to the social, you can specify your access requirements, but feel free to drop me an email if you have any questions in the meantime.

  • There are two tickets tiers:

    • General admission: £13.5 per ticket + ticket platform fee (15 spots)

    • Low income - £5 per ticket + ticket platform fee (3 spots)

    Ticket holders also have the option to make pay-it-forward donations, so I am often able to make additional low income tickets available.

  • Most socials sell out quickly.

    There is no official waitlist as most ticket holders who don’t attend tend to drop out at the last minute, and I’m not able to accept any new attendees on the day of the event.

  • Depending on timing, it might take me up to 3 weeks to get back to you.

    If you haven't received an email response by then (check your spam, especially if you have a Hotmail address!), feel free to drop me a DM on insta, or an email at bigfeelingsenm@gmail.com, with your name and email.