How To Find Your Most Confident Self
Recently, I had a coaching session with the amazing Elena. I wanted to work on my confidence and work through some stubborn imposter syndrome feelings I was struggling with.
Elena helped me put a name and a face to the parts of me that are really confident and the parts of me that are scared.
When I got off our call, I went into a hyper-focus creative trance (anyone else??? It’s like my phone and social media disappears and I am ARTISTING HARD), and I made a mini-zine, about my experience of imposter syndrome leading into confidence.
I designed it on Canva. It’s actually my favourite way of making a zine — I know, don’t kill me, traditional zines are meant to be crafted and collage — but doing it virtually somehow allows me to make something at the pace of my brain.
I started with a template that I moved away from pretty much entirely eventually, but I find it so much easier than starting with a blank page!
I knew that I wanted images of B. Davis at the heart of the zine, but I also quickly realised that I needed images of me in the zine, too. I went for photos cut outs with pink borders to reflect my colourful style and playful personality. I choose a typewriter font for nostalgia and a sense of maturity, but I choose a notebook style background to capture the youthfulness of all the parts of me - Brooke included.
Here are some draft pages that show the progression of the design:
This created a MASSIVE shift in my inner dialogue and my ability to soothe the parts of me that need care, and to harness the parts of me that are ON FUCKING FIRE.
So I present to you, my most confident self: Brooke.
This created a MASSIVE shift in my inner dialogue and my ability to soothe the parts of me that need care, and to harness the parts of me that are ON FUCKING FIRE.
So I present to you, my most confident self: Brooke.
Let me tell you: Brooke is fucking amazing.
And you know what else? You’ve got your own Brooke, too.
Here’s a guide to finding them:
Start by thinking about all the different parts of you at different ages.
You could look through childhood photos, or photos from formative times in your life. See if any of them spark a sense of recognition.
Do they feel familiar? Do you feel like you’ve carried them with you as you got older? Can you hear them? Do they have opinions?
Write down everything that comes up. You could do a mind map with all the thoughts/feelings/names that come up.
Now let’s focus on the part of you that feels the most confident. You could pick a couple if you’re not sure which one feels loudest.
Let’s work on bringing them to life in your head, and shaping their character, so you can make them feel really distinct:
What does this confident part of you feel like? Sound like? Look like?
It could be a version of you, but you could also get creative and go with a character you know - animated, live action - that feels like it embodies that voice. This works really well if it’s got emotional significance and resonance with you, rather than being a good fit on paper or someone who looks like you.
Go big and bold. Remember, even if the persona you pick feels too confident or too cool to be you… there is so much power in choosing something you know you are deep down, and not holding yourself back. And the more you lean into that persona, the more you become them. Magic!
Write their name down on a blank page, as big as you can. Take up two pages if you want. Illustrate it, draw hearts or flowers or shapes around the name. If you like drawing, draw what you think they look like, what colours represent them, what accessories they wear…
If you’re struggling with the DIY vibes, making a mood board on Pinterest is also GREAT. Give yourself the accomodations you need, always.
Can you picture them, now?
Now think about what they would say to you if they could speak to you.
What do they think about their own abilities?
What would they say to cheer you on, in a moment of crisis or self-doubt?
How would they stand up to someone who’s trying to put them down?
Write down everything that comes without censoring yourself.
Remember, the confident part of you is your ultimate cheerleader. They know your abilities and your power and they DO NOT doubt them for a second.
Once you’ve got the voice of your confident part down, and it feels like one of those instagrammable quotes: you’ve struck gold.
Here’s mine:
What’s yours?
Please email me and tell me!!! I wanna hear 🥹