Overcoming my creative blocks

Some of you might know that, as part of my multi-passionate creative practice, I am a writer. 

I write a lot of poetry, and I perform it too, and recently I've been embracing my first love: prose. 

So here's the tea ☕️: four years ago, I started writing my memoir about how I hated sex until I turned 30 and tried out bdsm, which changed my whole life and sent me on a huge journey of self-discovery about identity, love, and belonging.

And, folx, I have had to work SO MANY creative blocks in order to start writing again. 😤

At the beginning of this journey, I felt like maybe I wasn't trying hard enough to do what I wanted to do. (neurodivergent, much 😆) But it turns out I had a WHOLE LOT of big feelings to feel, like fear, guilt, and shame. And honestly? I didn't even know were there. Not consciously, anyways.

One of those feelings is this: why was I such a prolific writer as a teenager, but now writing 1,000 words a day feels impossible?

I used to write fan fiction in my teens, which is how I fell in love with writing in the first place. I shared my fics online and loads of people read my work - but I NEVER told anyone in real life. I worried they'd see it as uncool and lame and not real writing. I mean, I wasn't even creative enough to make up my own characters!

Can you hear how loud the self-criticism is? I used to be so hard on myself.

But then again… the fact that recently I've been beating myself up for writing 1,500 words a week, instead of 1,000 words per day, when a few months ago I wasn't writing at all… isn't exactly me being very kind to myself.

 My brain was hard wired for self-blame a long time ago. And every day, I shift towards softness just a little bit more.

And you know what I discovered when I went through my old writing folder this weekend? I have written over 25 pieces of fan fiction. One of them is over 100,000 words. Another one is over 50,000 words. And amongst my files, I also found an unfinished original novel from eight years ago that stands at 30,000 words. 😱

So looking at the 17,000 word count on my memoir, I KNOW that I can finish it, whether it ends up being 50,000 words or 75,000 words.

So, with a new sense of perspective, I have remembered hat writing 1,500 words a week is pretty damn great, and I feel so hecking proud of myself. I am going to finish this book, no matter how long it takes.

The moral of the story?

Be soft with yourself. And make small goals that are easily achievable. 

If you want support on your creative journey, book a free call with me to talk about what you’re looking to shift and how I could help.